As much as I have calmed down the storm that was my inner world thanks to meditation, it has recently come to my attention that I still have a strong tendency to overthink certain things, to an almost obsessive degree at times.
Feeling into this need for control that this overthinking represents, I can see that there is still some area that is not doing the surrender thing with me. So there is tension, or resistance that comes out as trying to control all the possible aspects of a situation in the mind.
When I looked at this again very intently, there is an underlying and irrational fear that I will get into trouble for something out of my control.
Overthinking things then, is a human attempt on my part to pretend that thinking of everything that could possibly happen is helpful in some way.
This was a huge insight for me to have by simply focusing directly on the latest issue where I noticed this behavior and asking within, "What is this really about?" and allowing the answer to unfold itself and also to be willing to really hear the answer.
Once the root issue, or fear is revealed by investigation, or self-inquiry, the spiritual work then, is to work with this tension directly, which can be done in a couple of ways.
Continue to do self-inquiry, but on a deeper level. For this, I can use a self-inquiry method called Shiva Process that works with energy, or shakti, to get to the issue, if you don't already know. Once the core issue has been established by checking in with several key areas in the body, called energy centers, we are looking to acknowledge what is going on within by using an authentic statement or many such statements to get at the correct feeling, of how we are presently feeling.
We work closely with whatever the story is about these feelings. We get them to tell us the truth, then we uplift the energy with further statements to see a deeper truth to the present feelings. Finally, we use additional statements of a divine nature to see everything from the highest perspective.
Self-inquiry can also be more simple - the usual way I like things - and meditating on a feeling and asking it to reveal its truth works well for me. We can ask questions like, how far back does this go? Is this a recent trigger for me? What message does this feeling have for me?
Going deeper into the answers you may receive within, or aloud if you like, is incredibly useful to work through these once unconscious feelings, after they have finally come up and become conscious.
This is one of the benefits of consistent meditation; eventually, everything comes bubbling up from the depths for us to work with.
It is also quite useful to know if this seems like something you aren't interested in doing. Meditating daily and being willing to go deep into the traumas and experiences of your life to grow is not everyone's cup of tea, nor does it need to be.
Growing demands certain things from us but the rewards are worth it. Not being stuck in old patterns and ways that no longer serve us is liberating and empowering.
It doesn't change whatever life may throw at us, but it completely changes the way we perceive and respond to these inevitable life experiences, challenges, and even tragedies.
We can stop blaming anyone for the way things are and see that no one person or thing is responsible for anything; every event is a cosmic happening that came together because of a myriad of other happenings. Who's fault could something possibly be?
Let's overthink our lives in such a way that we must feel loved and appreciated within ourselves, in our inner world no matter what is going on in the outer world.
We can do this by making self-love a priority in our lives and giving ourselves the time and energy to do so.
We can do this by creating rituals and setting times we can commit to.
We can do this by opening our hearts to learning to love ourselves.